poor little tumblr. dont you feel neglected?
so i havent really sat and written in you for quite some time now.im sorry; its just that my pursuits of late have not been tumblr-worthy, or ive simply been too busy to take the time out of my day to sit in front of my keyboard and just vent. not to mention the fact that i know that there are scores of people reading this, which makes me a little less prone to spill my deepest darkest secrets into you. my grammar sucks right now. my syntax sucks right now. my diction sucks right now. i cant punctuate, i cant enunciate, and my mind is a whirling cacophony of jumbled, senseless thoughts. i am the epitome of writer’s block. my mind feels trapped inside a cube of sorts, a clear box through which i can see the world moving around me, feel the eddies of time swirling too and fro as i am carried along with no control over my direction, no rudder with which to navigate this raging whirlpool that is life. i can see things; i cannot be seen by things. all of a sudden, my mind-box is thrown into the air, blasted free from the currents of life by the sudden entrance of a single person. is she the one? i ponder. i have split seconds to discern her intentions before all is lost. i see myself falling back towards entrapment-the water comes closer and closer, and from my unique vantage point i see that it resembles the sky. that time is both over and under, surrounding and throughout with no hope of escape save the liberty that this person can bring me. i have no time to contemplate my realization before my mind-box hits the water with the force of a penny dropped off of the empire state building. i guess she wasnt the one.
so why cant i stop thinking about you?
i realize the sheer ridiculousness of the whole situation. words can no longer describe my feelings, or at least my pitiful excuse for a vocabulary cant. so that’s it then; i guess we were over before we ever even began. that being said,
i really really regret the day that i first met you.
if i had known that you were the same as the rest of them, i would have never, ever talked to you. i wouldn’t have let you in. i would simply have left that night, and never looked back. because for a relationship that didn’t even happen, there sure is a lot of pain. and i guess that’s the worst part, the feeling of being shortchanged, conned somehow.
im tired. tired of bitching into you, little tumblr. so for now i’ll call it quits.
ben
